A rant about life lol
I struggle with my mental health. I personally think most people do, even if they don’t realize it. Life is simply hard. It’s not fair. We are exposed to so much tragedy, heartbreak, world disasters and chaos which sparks fear, shame guilt sadness and hopelessness. For me, the feeling I often find myself experiencing causing some issues is overwhelming stimulation. I personally am a very type A individual who thrives off of productivity and the constant feeling of having to be doing something meaningful and helpful. I truthfully find myself believing that I somehow have less hours in the day than everyone else. Like how in the world am I supposed to get everything done?! I can not. Being an adult requires a to do list that is 7 miles long with zero end in site. Between bills, appointments, work and just life god it’s so hard to find the time to focus on yourself, family, friends or your passions. I thank god everyday I grew up in an environment where my parents were so helpful, they supported me in *most* of my choices and primarily just wanted me to be happy, healthy and have a good relationship with our family. They helped financially whenever I needed it with the first ring of a phone call, they protected from life’s hazards and danger. They showed me what true love is between a couple, they showed me reality, humbleness, hard work and the idealism of being a strong self sufficient woman. They are to this day my hero’s thru and thru.
Now, with that being said… there is is something to be said about growing up in a environment that is so, well pleasant.
Once you grow up and get into the real world it really does a number on you. There are truly so many things I could say about navigating life. The education system simply doesn’t allow us to fully understand how this country deals with money. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand health insurance. How is it that you go to the wrong hospital and your insurance simply doesn’t want to pay due to that? How is it I get in a car accident two months ago and I was completely at a stop in stand still traffic and got hit while the guy was going 65 mph and I still had to fight for 2 months just to get the money I deserved. That’s simply because things are not fair. People don’t truly care about other.. at least most. That’s why its so difficult to balance empathy, morals and looking out for yourself.
Growing up I truly thought I was going to change the world, I was going to change the world and no one could stop me. But now being 22 years old and a nurse during a pandemic I realized no one person can. That’s the simple hard truth. I feel like no one talks about the shock factor of transitioning from college kid to adult in the matter of months. I know there are serious issues with the world but I don’t feel like that’s any reason to negate the fact that life is stressful and it’s okay to be stressed. It’s okay to be overwhelmed. It’s okay to take time off and rest and recharge and be selfish for the sake of your own health. We are too young to let the sorrows of the world dictate how we feel and live.
This was just my little rant as my 2022 has been nothing but absolute stress, chaos and issues. I hope someone can relate and if you do just know you aren’t alone and it’s not your fault. I don’t think school ever really taught us much about the real world and if you had a family like mine you were not exposed to that type of emotion as they thought you were unstoppable, impossible to defeat and a stop at nothing till you succeed kid. I am again so incredibly thankful and grateful to have the upbringing I had and I do realized the privilege I had and still have in that realm of life. It is time to just live how I want and take the world as it comes. It’s time to stop trying to control things that are genuinely not controllable.
